March 23, 2022

Episode #16: Erica Ballard – retainHER

Meet Erica Ballard. A woman who jumped from job to job – hoping to find a company that let her be herself while doing work that mattered. She never found that place, which is why she left the corporate world to start a business to change that for other women.

Prior to creating retainHER, Erica ran a successful health and life coaching practice for four year and spent ten years in the public health sector. She has a MS from Tufts University School of Medicine. She currently lives in Denver with her husband, daughter, and pup.

To learn more about Erica visit her LinkedIn page https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericaballard/

Transcript

hello this is Coach Tim CAmpsall and i’m your host for self-made is a myth make a difference together show where we’re interviewing successful business owners and hearing about their stories of the journey to building their business and because we know that success doesn’t come in isolation that there’s always other people who have been part of our journey we are recognizing the folks who have come alongside of us along the way to help us excel excel and today i am excited to have a fellow business owner from well now from denver with us today my guest helped bring the first dog park to downtown indianapolis she enjoys reading and learning how to snowboard which wouldn’t have happened here in indy would it and most importantly she is proud of her daughter please join me in welcoming erica to the show thank you so much i’m so grateful to be here fantastic well erica let’s start by having you introduce yourself tell us a little bit of your personal story where you were born about your family some of your hobbies okay so um i guess where i’ll start is i spent the first decade of my career working in public health um and i left it because i realized that what i was doing and what i was selling was different than what actually worked and started this journey on coaching which is how we met so i spent about four years um solely doing health and life coaching and have since opened up a business called retain her which uses data insights to retain retract and retain attract and advance women in the workplace so it um so when you’re like what are like what are your hobbies what is your i’m like well reading a bunch of data um but i am i’m trained in research from tufts university school medicine so it like actually is a true joy to read the data and spend time with my daughter um to create and visualize and do all those things and so yeah my my journey was hey i thought i really wanted to work in health realized very i wouldn’t say very quickly it took me a long time to realize that what i was doing wasn’t of the best value and then took the leap to switch it and then since then it’s been like this wild journey which is very similar i think to a lot of people because i i don’t have i never had a linear career path even in my even in my public health path i mean i was researching i was working in early education i was working cardiovascular disease i was working in hiv aids you know it home care with oxygen danks it was all of these things so um i think i answered your question let’s talk about a little bit more about your family sure oh i’m i am so happy to talk about them um so i am married to a wonderful man named nick and we have a beautiful daughter named isabelle she is almost eight months and i was telling tim before i got on here she peed all over herself before this podcast so i had the pleasure of derobing her and putting her in the bath um so we we moved out here so i’m from indiana um we spent about a decade on the east coast we spent for about four years in indiana which is where i opened my businesses and then in 2020 as everyone remembers the pandemic um i had a miscarriage and we asked ourselves you know is this really where we want to be is this what we want to be doing life is truly between the pandemic and a miscarriage and we like within four months i mean friends didn’t even know this we like packed our bags and we moved out to denver um because we love hiking um we like i didn’t love winter sports but now i do uh we like mountains we like the view and so yeah we’ve been out here she’s she wasn’t born till july but she like i was pregnant in november so she’s been with us the entire denver journey ben does it so tell us a little bit more about snowboarding

so you know how you have to be bad at things before you get sort of good at things that’s my journey with snowboarding me my i actually told one of my dear friends hey i’m gonna start snowboarding and she goes okay great what’s your address and she is a wonderful snowboarder she sent me crash pads and a pair of pants to wear over them uh like because you size up when we were crash pads and i have to tell you the first couple days i the amount of four letter words that left my mouth and then like the bruise not on my tailbone on my ego yes so real um and the last time we went up snowboarding we went for about a week last month like we had a house and we got really spoiled uh we have friends with a skin ski out in the house here um we went for like four days and i finally like moved from i suck to i’m not bad like you know like it was a really like it was a big progression um but it’s so fun being on that mountain like for me like i’m a like i know not everyone else is spiritual but like for me i just sitting on that mountain like watching like there’s just you like i’m like you can’t for me i can’t deny a more beautiful existence you know what i mean like how lucky am i how wonderful is my life that i get to spend time on this mountain and then learn to go down and if the only thing that’s truly getting bruised is my ego like really really good place yes i had a snowboard ego bruising also i i traded it in at after a few tries and went back to the skis i i can’t believe this is so hard everybody makes it look and it should be easy because it’s this great big board but

when i was pregnant my husband um declared march the month of mountain the month of mountains and i he manifested that because he went out snowboarding probably for three of the four weeks of march of 20 2021 and he has been going every wednesday until like the mountain closes here and the mountains close here in may so he has been so he went through may and then as soon as they opened up in november he’s been out every wednesday so i’m like trying to catch up and he wants my little one to snowboard as soon as she can walk i have no doubt that that will actually happen so like instead of being the mom at the bottom of the mountain with the uh fanny pack which totally fine to be that mom but i was like let me see if i can be like fun snowboarding mom first and if not i’ll be fun mom with drinking hand at the end of the bottom of the mountain so yeah i love it so um tell us erica is there a funny story that your family likes to tell about you that you’d be willing to share with us

you can’t see me shaking my head maybe yes

we were just talking about this recently um so i i for the record i grew up in like middle class home great parents truly very lucky um but was like pushed hard right to like with school work but what i wasn’t really pushed on was chores so i didn’t clean a lot um and i didn’t really pick up after myself a lot and one day my parents got really furious about what my room looked like and so they took all of my clothes everything on the ground and they threw it into a porch like into our like porch on like on the low side of the house and what they were expecting was for me to pick it up clean it up yeah what i did was i changed out of the porch for five straight days until they were like now hold on was this an enclosed porch or an open out okay but it was outdoors it was like the screen porch yeah yeah and i was like i don’t care like like it’s fine like i swam in high school so i was like cold weather it does not bother me um and if these clothes get ruined you did it like i’ll figure it out so yeah they um like to remind me still to this day i’m 36 i think that happened when i was like 16. how messy i am and i’m like it’s been 20 years like i’ve cleaned up my act but they’re not they’re not convinced so you know the karma that you’re gonna have from your daughter is going to be fun the karma i’m already getting has been fun so yeah nice all right well tell us how um you gave us a little bit of the backstory of your professional journey but how’d the business come about at what point did you have the confidence that you can run your own business what a good question um so i have so since i have two businesses can i tell the two stories absolutely yeah okay so the first one was you know i as a woman in particular right like we have a lot of messages that come to us about what our bodies should look like and i spent the majority of my i would say like 20s trying to fit a certain size look a certain way and i would just and i and i worked really hard like i would skip sleep for like um like you know to go to spin classes in the morning and i would eat like terrible low-fat yogurt and i would like i would really do it and yet and i worked in the industry that told me like hey these are the things that you need to do in order to get the body that you want and the feeling that is associated with it and i did all the things and it never worked out like i wasn’t like crazy overweight i was maybe like 15 pounds heavier um than i wanted to be and that my frame pro that my frame would have but it yeah it just it didn’t it didn’t ever work out and so i went from you know kept looking like probably a lot of people can relate from the diet front like different diets different workouts all this stuff and then i finally i was i mean i literally even went to medical do you know what i mean like i like i i tried um i ended up at this health coaching i saw this health coaching program it like followed me quite a bit and i was like screw it i might as well do it it was 40 weeks super intensive so it wasn’t like it wasn’t a total whim but it was also like something says i should do this and i did it and in six months like the weight fell off without me trying i was calmer like everything felt so much better and easier and in that journey i was like uh oh like i tried to do the thing where like i sold the thing that i knew didn’t work wow doing the thing that did and then like the disconnect um in internally couldn’t last much longer so i got a coach we talked a lot about it i saved with money and then i took the leap um in october i have 20 18 2017 2016. one of them i don’t remember um i should know right um probably i think probably 2018 um or 2017 anyways so i took the leap um and it i haven’t looked i can’t say i haven’t looked back since because sometimes a real like a not a real job but like a nine to five did sound really good during it but i have been been doing that on my own for like i said like four years and then this business came through i was i meditate every morning um and i was meditating while pregnant and tim i handed out this like retain like the download of what you’re going to create like this is what you’re going to do and i remember looking at the sky and being like no sir take your idea back i don’t want it coaching is going well it’s easy i love it i have a name for myself um and it kept coming and coming and coming and at some point you got to say yes right like and so i said yes and the journey has been wild so like i did i got the download when i was pregnant maybe five or six months pregnant and then built it all the way to her birth and afterwards and like quietly putting the pieces together quietly like meeting with people and the doors that have been opened i mean i wouldn’t believe it if it didn’t happen to me so yeah so tell us more about that vision what is it that you’re doing so the quick and dirty of it right is providing data insights to companies to help them retain recruit and promote women but what that looks like it’s combining all of the things that i have been accumulating right as a coaching entrepreneur and um in school and we’re really going into companies and we’re saying okay like yes we can train like we can train your employees we can train your managers we can train your leadership we can train your r on the subtle ways in which women are kept down or the the reasons why women are leaving your company um and the differences in the sexes and then also by um like race ethnicity uh sexual orientation age etc we can break all like you tell you why um this stuff looks different um and then the other piece that we do with it is we do audits so a lot of people are trying to put together de i goals but they don’t even have the fundamental or they don’t have a foundation of what’s happening in the company and so we provide that foundation by going in and saying okay we’re going to measure both men and women and i’m non-binary and we’re going to say all right what’s the differences between these these folks but not just in workplace engagement we’re going to look at their whole life because we know in particular like women people of color like we make decisions based on um what we need as a person first and then as a employee second and so we’re looking at life satisfaction we’re looking at um physical health we’re looking at stress levels workplace engagement and then unconscious bias that we hold so are we particularly with women are we showing up as more masculine because we think it’s going to get us ahead do we take on the burdens at home that maybe we don’t need to but we think we do from a societal level um so we do all that and it’s just like i’m trained in this stuff but you kind of forget what you did before you coached do you know what i mean like you’re like oh um and so it’s been really it’s been so fun and i had a post recently that like blew up on linkedin it’s at like 2.7 million views i know like i i would have been happy with like on it like 10k when i had a drinking position i gotta blow my mind and i was like 2.7 million um and so what i’m going to be working on there as well is to start to tell more story so i’m like so not only are we doing the research not only are we talking about it but doing like sharing story helping people see what it looks like to be a working woman because there i mean there’s a lot of information that shows how men are the ideal worker and even if all even if all of us are like no but we love women the reality is when we think work we think men when we think home we think women and we’ve got to sh we’ve got to shift that um and we’re seeing we’re seeing that with a great resignation great reshuffle what i’m going to call it how important it is to value women awesome well that is so exciting so you reluctantly went into it but it sounds like you’re having a blast yeah and it’s like you know with the self made is a myth i mean listen i could not be here doing this without all of the help from people like the people who are willing to even talk to me i can’t even believe it like i can’t even believe who i had the privilege of meeting as i was trying to figure out what this would look like well let’s start with tell us um about someone who pushed you or inspired you um that you could do it and the impact that that person had on you yeah so there’s this owner in indianapolis and he does he has this cool business that you probably have never heard of um because i didn’t maybe you have maybe you’re cooler than i am tim um so what he was able to do so you used to work at ivy tech um and he was able to figure out within the first two weeks of a 16 week semester the likelihood students would drop out of school with like a 90 accuracy like yeah yeah and i it blew my mind that one could even do that right that like and he was like we and i’m not gonna do it for corporations there’s a lot of reasons why but like what it he was like people are interested to see if you can do it incorporate and i just sat back and i thought to myself hold on like something like that’s wild like you can do that and he’s like yeah you can do it too for a woman and i will show you how to if you want to go down that path he’s like i can’t tell you how to do it because you won’t understand it because he’s a science like really smart science like programmer he’s like but if you decide to go down a path i will talk to your programmer and i just thought to myself okay someone believes in me like someone believes me and who has a multi-million dollar business he was like here’s what we figured out how to do if you want to figure it out i’ll help you and i just thought okay all right i’ll keep exploring yeah because this man is willing to to just hop on a call casually talk with me about it introduce me to investors if i need it and um talk with the program or should i decide to hide hire them and i was like all right we’re onto something we gotta keep going that is cool what’s the person’s name um i think i’m gonna butcher it um i don’t i can’t remember his last name i can see him for like it’s liege it’s a very yeah so um awesome l-i-g-e i hope i said that right yeah and i’ve only talked to him once but i don’t think he even knows how big of an impact he had on me i mean it was like ah like i it just my whole demeanor changed once he i spoke with him that was so cool so erica what’s your biggest learning um so far as a business owner

um you know what here’s what it is um i had a different i was gonna answer differently but here’s what what i really think it is is um

it’s not all hustle and grind right like it isn’t 24 7 working it’s not making 16 billion phone calls um working on hard matters for sure but i had to learn how to be a business leader how to be the person that runs a successful business um and that piece you can’t do being you know um and so all of the work should decondition myself from what i who i thought i was to what i would say is coming back to who i know i am right like i look at my eight-month-old daughter she’s per i mean and i i mean it she’s perfect i think all babies are perfect they come out they’re so loving like she could look in the mirror all day she loves looking at herself like you know like she’s giggles all the time she’s so light-hearted and i’m like man that was conditioned out of me like just like being sure of the world the universe god or whatever like has your back i’m like shoot so i like that that has been the biggest lesson it’s not grinder and grind call call call do do do it’s a big piece of this puzzle is stepping in to that person like into that next version of you yes i love it we talked a lot about that with our clients that you know our self-confidence is a in our mindset is you know at least 80 of whether we’re going to be successful or not and unfortunately you mentioned the hustle and grind like in the beginning yes we have to put in the long hours we have to do the hard work but most folks get caught up and work harder work longer right give up sleep give up weekends miss out on vacations and and eventually that all just learns leads to burnout right and and we just miss the whole journey because all we’re all conditioned to think that we just have to work harder and longer because nobody really talks about that other stuff right yeah and i think too like we got into entrepreneurship to own our schedule and yet you know what’s the joke we traded in nine to five for 24 7. and i i mean i really did my husband i mean for a while like we we laugh it’s not it’s funny but it’s like not funny or like he would go out and his friends really didn’t believe i existed because for like three four or five months i just never went out and i do think that there is i always like when people are like not like you can’t just be like you can’t just be but like there’s oh i feel like for everyone there’s that year of just like digging in like at least a year uh because it’s self-development and self-growth it’s not necessarily hustle hustle hustle i mean it’s the impact on you as a person and who you have to be and that reflection that first year is tough because you’re you’re learning it all through your actions instead of stepping back and saying like what the heck’s going on in my mind um but it is i mean that i shifted that i i’ve been very intentional the past six months and my my world has truly changed i mean i have been doing the work on my mindset for like from the get-go when it came to health but really stepping into it and owning it and doing the things that we all know to do but like never seem to have the time for

i share this little formula if we said that um that b times do equals what you want to have out of life if we focus all of our energy on on doing so let’s say in the beginning it’s one times one equals one and we get really good at doing so it’s one times ten equals ten if we just pull back and do what you just shared right and we put some of our energy into becoming a better version of ourself let’s say we move five units over right now it’s five times five equals twenty five so we get so much edit more out of our business out of our life out of our out of everything if we just pull away from doing and and focus on growing and becoming the person that we need to become yeah and i think the thing that for me has been interesting is like when you do that work when you do the being work um but like you know when you really start to do the mindset work for it is it it’s not like this big like fireworks go off and you’ve done it like all of a sudden you sit back one day and you’re like i handled that different

oh i i’m thinking about that differently oh i’m reacting differently and i think if you stick with that over the course of time that’s when your business really explodes like because i i’ve been do doing health work and all like the first two years of business was i’ve stayed in it too long i stayed on the grind way too long when i let up and said man what would make me happy not what would make me money what would make me yes truly happy i became a magnet for money yeah the law of attraction right yes and we and here’s the thing we hear about it like everyone reads about it everyone hears about it in entrepreneurship but to take ten step back and say all right i’m just i’m actually going to try it yeah not like i’m gonna try it for a month and see if i can get a result like i’m gonna stick with it because once you stick with it like it everything changes everything everything changes so true so erica we know business success doesn’t happen in isolation so tell us about a challenge that you’ve had over the years and a fellow business owner who came alongside you help you through it there’s so many so let me pick my story um

you know what the story that comes to mind for me is

so as i’m building this business to retain her

yeah ma so amber fields um you might know do you know amber i don’t know okay she’s amazing she’s over at true you um and it she also owns her own coaching business as well and she also works at trueyou and she and she’s one of the head uh one of the heads up at for you i honestly was just so scared to show up as my full self like it takes a a lot of i i think courage to speak up for injustices among women um a friend of mine a white male said this to me yesterday and i was like you’re brilliant josh he was like it’s always women set women back he’s like why is it never that like men set women back why aren’t we ever like holding men accountable for how they hold women back and i was like oh my god like so eat it like like we’re just scrutinized more do you know what i mean and it’s really nerve-wracking and scary and all these things and i if it i would text amber i would text amber every couple weeks just to get right again like we put like put it back like put my head back in the game and she was always there reminding me why we’re doing this and and also going on this journey of like understanding ourselves and our spot as like women and we are we’re mixed as mixed uh we’re filipino like in this world and yeah i mean she’s been with she’s been a friend forever but like in the past i would say like year the amount of growth that she’s allowed me like just to see me and not judge me and not fix me when i came just to like listen and provide a sounding like a safe space and then the other one i want to say too because it’s just coming up is like my friend nadia adams she’s starting this b2b business that’s incredible and every month for the past like six months we’ve been meeting and the rea you know when you work when you lean on people the amount of people she’s been able to send my way to help me through um whether it’s a mathematician or a statistician or a worker or you know what i mean like she just because we’re doing it at the same time she’s just been able to provide me with those folks and allow me to think differently so i just i’m like there’s so many stories there’s so many stories those are those are two awesome so let’s talk about some more people if you had to pick three folks on your business owner journey that you’re most grateful for being there that have helped you with your growth um who are those three people and how they help you so nadia adams is one and so nadia is the woman i talk to who’s she has um she co-founded a business called blue and agile oh no i just i like in my head i’m like now i’m blinking um and she is she’s a she’s a tech leader she’s uh she’s an asian woman running a tech company and man period it’s something right and she we meet every month she’s like one of my biggest cheerleaders she understands exactly what i’m going through and she’s always there with resources problem-solving and available like you know those people who are like i’m like okay i need to put this deck together she’s like great let me look at it and we’ll hop on the call 20 minutes she’ll go through it she’ll provide me here the insights that she’s getting from other people because we’re we’re often selling to the same people like you know most of our businesses like we’re selling to like white men right and i’m um i’m half asian and she’s full asian and it it just so it’s just it’s a helpful thing to understand to strategize and do those things and i and to know every month i get to talk to her at least for sure on camera and then texting it’s it’s amazing and the other woman the other person coming to mine is a woman she’s um my she’s my wealth coach and her name is barbara hudson but you might know her by barbara stanley she’s actually a new york times bestseller and she has this amazing group called the wealth connection and she man she’s honest

she is honest and she really helps us understand that it’s never about the money it’s never never never about the money it’s something deeper and what is it and she gathers a group of women um every couple weeks to to talk about it to look at it to like really build community so that you’re not in it alone um and you have like 20 30 40 people right that you can talk to about it it’s it’s so amazing and her books are like she was my mentor before she was actually my mentor you know um she’s a huge one and then i’m like there’s i’m like i’m gonna say kristen um kinky um hanky kristen hanke um she’s one of my dear friends that i met um on my when i was becoming a coach um and i had my coat my first coach she was on the retreat as a chef and we have been friends ever since we have yeah she had a baby about a year and a half before me and like we man

she she’s a she’s a sex coach okay so um you want to talk you want to talk about like being honest putting yourself out there like these different things like she’s done it and she writes beautifully so she’ll look at like the my content she’ll just be there to cheerlead we can talk about the really really really hard things of business um not only am i talking about like the hard stuff you know lost a client like didn’t get a deal etc but like the celebration like like pushing me to celebrate pushing me to um be proud of some of the moments that like i would have very easily overlooked like making sure i stop and say you this was a big big effing deal that you did that um and yeah we have no like since the coaching journey together like we’ve been at it for um for years together and it i like if like her and then another friend of mine jillian bullion like we have the same relationships it’s like i can’t i can’t imagine keeping all this inside and those two women in particular let me say all of the things out loud good the great the ugly right like instead of just sitting in the muck and staying stuck like because it’s such a safe space to be vulnerable like i never have to stay still for long because of her that’s awesome yeah so as you think about the next three to five years what are the biggest challenges that you’re that you’re going to face and to in order to get to your goals and who are the type of people that you’re going to need in your life to help you solve those challenges so three to five years i think the you know the first challenge against it would have been different if you had if there was asked me two days ago um is preparing for success so i think as um as business owners we prepare for failure we’re ready to hustle ready to grind are ready to do that i need to focus on preparing for success that’s what i need to do and for me to do that i believe it is network is going to be really important the people i surround myself with because it’s very easy to be with other folks who it’s actually a lot harder to be with folks who are preparing for success because we’ve all been trained the other way so that’s going to be really important and honestly um like i have a great mentor and a great coach and i think it’s also cons like also revisiting who else needs to be on that team um because it is so that’s a mindset shift and and it’s a big one and i have been writing the emotional rollercoaster of it as of late and i’m like i’m winning like right i’m winning because of my because of the work because of my network but that that’s the biggest that i see that um i believe growing my team so as a coach i i it was me and i have a wonderful business manager but the work that i’m doing now with retainer is so much bigger than me um and i’m i want of like employees i want um to hire folks i want to create the space that i believe employers can do as well and i believe that in three to five years i’ll be hiring folks so that’s the other piece right um and that man that’s so scary like it’s so scary

it’s not that i can’t manage people i have managed people in the past but it’s like you’re in charge of their money and their well-being and also building the culture right that you want to build and so when i think about that because i’m already managing different contractors and i’m thinking to myself i’m already thinking about like who do i want my chief research officer who i want these people to be because they’re looking for those jobs and i’m like again like the team that surrounds me right so one i i i’m gonna need help and i bet you anything um i don’t know if you know jacqueline martinez she’s she doesn’t know this but she’s going to be helping me she probably does know this because i tell her all the time but she’s great now she’s going to now um to help me understand how do you hire like how do you put these things in place how do you um i went to um a leadership training it was managed i think it’s managing for change it was it’s for nonprofits it should be for everybody and it really gave me the tools necessary on how to hire appropriately but then you have to actually do it yeah then you have to actually do it um so i think that getting surrounded by people who are willing to learn with me and also teach me are going to be the really big pieces so i would say that as like preparing for change and then like truly hiring for folks um but i’m gonna continue to i’m not like i’m not toxic positivity i’m not naive but um i do think that a lot of that work too is going to fall on me of visualizing what i want because if i don’t have clarity of what i’m creating then i even if i bring people on to help me they can’t because i haven’t done it so yeah i think that makes me think of you know stephen covey’s right principle of begin with the end in mind right so it’s one of the first things we start with all of our folks and you mentioned the the you know prepare to grow or or not so my coach always tells me tim you’re either going to plan for success or you’re going to plan for failure there’s no status quo so which one do you want well like well when you put it that way right it’s pretty clear so but the corporate world teaches us to under promise and over deliver right so when we become business owners that it’s just so ingrained in us well hey i’m only going to assume a you know a two percent growth when really it should be a 25 growth right and well i don’t know if i want to bring on that employee because what if and how about and it’s like well no let’s assume that you know our plan is going to happen and we need two employees i i’ve been saying this a lot recently so i’m going to say it here too is i i really believe we’ve been trained to um motivate through fear instead of love so what does it look like to motivate yourself through love like for me it’s i mean like universal love not like you know relationship like what does that look like like to come from a place of self love to come from universal love like what does that look like and so many people i talk to they’re like um if i do that then i’m gonna like then i’m gonna eat too much and get fat and lana beach and i’m like but that’s not what like that’s not what love looks like to you love looks like taking care of your body love looks like i’m fulfilling your purpose love looks like i’m showing up for the people you say you want to show up for i’m like so you we don’t actually have to be afraid of not using fear to move us forward because the things that we actually want are all based in love so what if we did that yes i love it yes yeah i i share a story with folks often about how did we learn how to walk right so being a mom right we don’t we don’t shame the kid when they fall down or you know chastise them or tell them that they’re losers right we clap and we cheer and we encourage and we you know it’s like oh my goodness you felt awesome right yeah and then when we become adults what happens yeah you’re sure like every like we somehow think that failure means we’re a failure like it it’s again it’s going back to like you know when you’re asking like what are some of the people you need to put yourself around or like the resources it’s those people who are really who are honest like we have to be honest about reality and people who also want you to succeed yes like it’s matters so much because we have and i’m gonna guess everyone lives in your pocket we have really big dreams and to a lot of people they’re real like they’re real weird they’re real bizarre and

we but if we surround ourselves with people who say they’re weird and bizarre then we’re going to think they’re weird or bizarre and that we’re because of it and it’s like no man they’re awesome like i want to be around people who are like that’s awesome let’s go let’s do it exactly so that actually leads nicely into so jim rohn um i love his quote we become the average of the five people we spend the most time with so um erica as you think about that um is that something that excites you something that makes you nervous a little bit of both what’s your thoughts on that

sometimes it makes me nervous i’ll own that sometimes it makes you really really nervous but when i think about the five people that i surround myself with most makes me feel great like you know like one of them is my child so and you know oh like i was telling you this before i got on all jokes aside like she’s my superpower like because when i look at her i remember that everyone was once her so anytime i think someone’s like being mean to me or if i started taking things personal i’m like you know what everyone was an isabel once everyone was this like beautiful beam of love and light and you know they lost their path a little bit i have to so if they’re being mean that’s not who they are but it’s what they’re expressing and it hasn’t like allowed me do you know what i mean like to to just like to show up without feeling like the world is attacking me um and she’s full of love she’s full of joy like she’s always smiling except for when she’s really tired or you know she peed on herself fair like we’ve all been there um and hungry again i get that so i love it and like you know a husband and a couple of my like the the friends that i mentioned like those are the people i talk with and see most of the day and they’re pretty freaking great so i feel okay about that quote so final question here if something catastrophic happened in the business who’s the first person you’d call and what would that conversation be you you know what i want to be like i call my husband but if i’m being honest i’d prob i’m like i’d probably call my brother or my dad um because i don’t want i wouldn’t need someone to problem-solve i would just need someone to listen um because that’s if something and it’s not if it it’s like when it happened what did you do right like when it happened what did you do yeah and i called my brother and i called my dad and was like here’s what happened and i just needed a really safe space to acknowledge it and like not have anyone tell me what to do um just listen because i this is my belief is that if a catastrophe happened in my business it needed to happen because i wasn’t listening to any of the whispers that got up to that point and so that means that i still have the solution in me if i’m re-willing to listen i love the whispers that will like get me out of it you know love it so erica you’ve been blessed with some incredible people who have helped you along the way if they were all on the show here today what would you want to say to them first i was like as you asked that i was like i would just cry like i mean i think i would just cry for like the first five minutes and i would the thing i would say is i love you thank you and i love you i i think that people who are there for you and who support you like it is a form of love and like the only thing i would want to do is give it back and let them know that they are loved because no one has to take time to meet with me no one has to respond to a text no one has to introduce me to somebody no one has to do any of that and time and time again i see people willing to do that for so many of us and i think the thing that i just want to say is that the reason why it doesn’t happen is usually because we don’t ask the moment we start to ask the amount of love that is poured into you like i mean it’s it’s almost overwhelming right um someone said to me yesterday it’s so hard like isn’t asking for help so hard and i smiled and nodded because i didn’t feel like getting in the conversation but like in my head i’m like at first and then you learn that people want to help and so i would it would it would be thank you and i love you because they all like everyone who have asked for help or has known to help like i’m just i’m so grateful for them because i wouldn’t i mean i wouldn’t be able to tell you i i’m snowboarding on tuesday right like i’m gonna go i’m gonna take the day off and snowboard it’s because of them right like yes me yes and them so that’s what i would say i love it so what was so interesting about you know that is that idea of not asking right is we all get a lot of satisfaction out of seeing somebody else benefit from the advice we give them so then why is it that we don’t feel like we can ask for help right isn’t that weird it is so bizarre and i like from an unco unconscious conditioning piece like i get it right like we’ve been told asking for help makes you weak all those things and particularly as women like you know like just be quiet like don’t like doing do these things like don’t speak up don’t like like a good mom does xyz shoot man like

once you start to ask for help and you see and you see how many people and listen when you ask for help and it’s from your loved ones you might not always get a yes so i understand why people have trouble but you ask anyone in business and you mean it like you really want it and you’re really going after it they’ll open all those doors because they want you to succeed and someone did it for them so they are so willing and so ready to pay it forward they’re so willing and so ready to pay for it i love it absolutely so erica uh it’s been a absolute pleasure speaking with you today and thank you so much for being on the show thank you to everyone who tuned in thanks for listening to the self-made is a myth show with your host coach tim camsell be sure to help us spread this movement by liking the show and sharing it on your social media to join our movement go to be mad together dot com okay folks that’s a wrap make sure to pay it forward and i’ll see you all next time take care